5:30 am, on leaving, an open letter

to those of you who came to my going away party, thank you very much. i will miss you all. if you didn't come don't worry; i will miss you too. i am so sad that i am leaving so quickly. for those of you who don't know, i didn't find out that i was actually going to be going to south korea until about 30 hours ago. i really wish i would've had more time to see people. however, i am also incredibly excited that i'm leaving and doing something. the job market is not so hot right now, but i decided that i would have to go for more than just money. that's not really a good excuse to do anything. i like having money, but i don't particularly value it...i am leaving for a lot of reasons. i think one reason is to develop a new sense of independence that has been lost to me through various circumstances. i think i need to get away from this place so i don't keep falling into the same traps over and over. i also want to read. i am taking a wealth of books with me. not as many as i would've liked, but still enough to keep me busy for quite some time.

i am flying out in 3 hours. i'll be in seattle for a time and then straight to seoul. i'm working with elementary kids in a town called suwan, about 20km south of seoul. i am excited to have a place of my own and in some regards i'm excited about knowing nothing of the place i'll be living in. i love you all incredibly and as eager as i am to leave, i still regret it in some ways because it's so unreal that i've had to leave this quickly without saying goodbye to so many of you. many of you know that i've had my share of depression and what not...that being said, i can only hope that you will provide me with emails and letters. i will post my mailing address as soon as i know it. i haven't had any sleep. i've been running on empty all day and i've been terribly frazzled trying to get everything together...buying a computer, getting shots, getting clothes, the party, etc. i didn't even get to pack until a few moments ago (i'm sure i've forgotten something)...but what i am not forgetting is friends i've had who i hope will still be there in a year and my great love for all of you.

josh